Full Cup Coffee

by King Fish on 2+2:

On Tuesday, I purchased a cup of coffee for $2.00. I am a valuable customer Full Cup Coffee, so the manager gave me 25% off, like he always does. It's a win/win, as I drink a lot of coffee and he still makes a nice margin. $1.50/cup.

On Wednesday, the Manager said that to show his appreciation, from now on I will get 50% off all my cups of coffee. I was stoked. $1 cup FTW!

On Thursday, the manager let me know that because of his generosity, he needs to re-evaluate the price of coffee. I will still get 50%, and every other day 75%, but the price of coffee has gone up to $4. I have no idea how much the coffee costs any more. My accountant is on it.

Yesterday, the manager let me know that the price of coffee has gone up to $10 a cup because of all the frequent customer discounts he was giving. I will now get 80% off on every cup because I am such a good customer, however the 27% coffee tax recently implemented by Harry Reid will go against the $10 wholesale price of the coffee and not the $2/cup I would have spent.

He has assured me that this is what I want, as a valuable customer he is looking out for me. He then kicked me in the shins and walked off. He does that sometimes.

There is a really great coffee house next door to this guy, (PokerStarbucks) and of the 100 varieties of coffee, theirs are better than Full Tilt Coffee. Their staff is also a lot friendlier and much more knowledgeable about the beans, roasting methods, etc. They are also really, really funny. The coffee is also cheaper, at 90 cents per cup for all (frequent visitors I have heard get theirs for as little as 40 cents per cup!). My problem is that my current guy has one type of coffee I really like (Rush Coffee). It has 5 times the caffeine as standard coffee and gives me my caffeine boost much quicker.

So, I will continue to go to Full Tilt Coffee for now, because it is a bit closer and easier for me. Once Pokerstarbucks gets a coffee that is just 1/2 good as my current brand, I will switch.

I spend probably close to $50k/year on coffee, so I assume they will appreciate my business.

There may be a very loosely related allegory here somewhere, but it is purely coincidental.